Budapest Diaries: Waking up at 4pm (oops) and an evening on the Danube

Wednesday, 5 June 2019

If you thought Saturday was a belated start then I bet you can't wait to know when we woke up on Sunday...
Our day began at 4pm (and I... oooop!)
We basically spent the Saturday night having the time of our lives and our body needed sleep, we had no proper plans for Sunday so really it didn't matter.

As Ell is a big Man City fan, we found an Irish bar and watched the football which is becoming a bit of a tradition on our holidays. Our first drink of the day was an alcoholic one and if that doesn't sum up Budapest I don't know what does, when theres such cheap beer it would be rude to say no!

After watching the football and City winning, Ell was one happy gal and I was one hungry gal so we went off to find some food. I'm not really sure what the area was called but it was where all the main shops were  and we wandered round there for a bit. Our culinary tastes really aren't that exotic so we found yet another lovely Italian restaurant and got some food. Ell ordered margarita pizza for the third time in a row, it's basically tradition now, and I decided on some Calamari which came out looking more alive than I've ever seen before!
The food was nice, the vibe was nice and it was coming up to 8pm and we decided we needed to do something with our last night. 

Being the spontaneous queens we are, we walked down to the river, found a boat trip and hopped on the next departure. It was the equivalent of £8 for a one hour boat trip down the Danube which I thought was so good compared to what you'd pay in London for something like that! The boat was basic and we were freezing cold but we got to see all the landmarks lit up in the dark and it was extremely beautiful. We saw Parliament, Buda Castle, Chain Bridge and all the stunning architecture along the Danube which seemed to come to life in a different way at night.
I had a bit of a moment on the boat which I'll always remember, I went off to the toilet to queue up and it was at the back of the boat where nobody was about. I stood there looking out at either side of the river which was lit up shining so bright and thought... 
'as if this is what I can do now'
All the fun I'd had in the past three days, all the things I'd done and not at one point had I felt too ill or too tired or had even had a single worry cross my mind! 
Yes, I know last year I went on a lot of trips but nobody actually knows what I dealt with on those trips. Trying to translate 'Can I use your toilet?' into so many languages, taking packets and packets of Imodium everyday and the main thing, being terrified to come home because I never knew what was in store for me next. 
This was my first trip in my new life and I was loving every second of it.

Lucy Jane

Feeling loved but how do we fall in love?

Sunday, 2 June 2019

Dress: Charity Shop // Bag: Primark // Earrings: Primark // Shoes: Steve Madden // Sunglasses: Monki

After my week in Cyprus, I did a lot of thinking about a lot of things. I want to take things back with my blog, write about whats been on my mind, share my inner thoughts rather than being impersonal. 
So I'm going to do just that...

Feeling loved but how do we fall in love?
I suppose it's something personal that I don't really share on social media which is kind of strange as I can share the fact I poo into a bag but when it comes to speaking about love and all things related, I feel so vulnerable and can't open up. I've never been that close to someone that I felt I was falling in love so I guess I don't know how to. 

Love is such a personal thing and I think there is a huge difference from being widely loved by a lot of people, to being loved by an individual. I know I'm loved by a lot of people and that's not me being self-obsessed, I simply know that my friends and family are the most loving, incredible people ever and I feel their love constantly. But when it comes to being whole-heartedly loved by an individual, I have no idea how that feels and recently it's started to play on my mind...

So I have an Ileostomy bag which I'm sure many of you know, I poo in a bag and my body looks different to everyone else's. It's changed my life but it's obviously a huge thing to adapt to.
I'm confident with it, I own it most of the time but I still get hints of negativity sneaking in and if I'm honest, it's mainly around other people accepting me for me.
I worry that when I do truly open up, someone will reject it and reject me. 
Yes, everyone hates rejection but I'm scared that rejection from others might spark rejection from myself and that's terrifying to me. I love my bag, I love my body and I love the way my life has been since surgery and I never want anyone to make me think any differently. I have the whole 'fake it till you make it' mantra when it comes to body confidence and honestly, it works so much for me but I suppose I'm putting up this guard by doing that. 
I do have down days, I do feel self conscious and I'm scared that falling in love could hurt me like an absolute bitch.

I don't know if this makes any sense or if anyone cares but I was watching a video on disabilities and relationships and one lady spoke about something someone had said to her...
'If you're in a toy shop and theres a shiny new toy next to an old broken toy, why would you chose the broken one over the shiny one?'
Sounds silly but hearing that really hurt me and started me thinking in a way I don't want to allow myself to.

It's weird to write about this but I hope someone understands. 
Right now I am happy as can be, I've never had a relationship so all I've known is being an independent boss bitch and that's exactly what I'm channeling! 
These thoughts are some of my most vulnerable and the only time when negativity seems to push it's way into my mind. 
I'm not sad about it just anxious but I suppose life always works itself out in the strangest ways and for now I'll continue to feel loved by the world and figuring out falling in love will come with time...

Lucy Jane 

(P.S. Enjoy the pics of me living out my Mamma Mia dreams in Cyprus, when I do fall in love a Greek wedding is definitely on the cards)

Budapest Diaries: Bathing with my bag and being a No 1 tourist

Wednesday, 29 May 2019

Day two was Saturday which began at a slightly delayed start of 2pm as we'd got a bit carried away with our antics on Friday night, oops. Saturday was the day we were visiting Széchenyi Thermal Baths, we'd pre-booked it online and was about the only planned thing on this trip!
If you're planning on visiting I'd definitely recommend pre-booking and bringing your own towel and sliders, it saves so much time and is so so easy to do.
As we were a lil bit hungover, having a relaxing afternoon in the baths was just what we needed. We explored all the outside and the inside but personally, I didn't really like the inside baths. The architecture was cool but I thought it smelt and was a bit uncomfortable, so our day was spent out in the sunshine definitely getting sunburnt.
One of my favourite memories of this day was watching this old lady in the jacuzzis (I promise its not as weird as it sounds!). Basically there is 2 sections in one of the baths that act as jacuzzis, one come out of the floor under your feet and one comes out the wall but they alternate and are never on at the same time. This lady knew exactly when the jets would switch and would move from one to the other just before it did she was honestly iconic, spending at least 2 hours going back and forth from the jacuzzis making sure nobody else got on them. 
We love you whoever you were!

We left the baths about 6:30pm and wandered over to Heroes Square where we sat and watched the sunset, looking like such tourists. Honestly these moments are some of my favourite moments when Ell and I go away, we just sit, watch the world and chat about absolutely anything and everything and I couldn't be more content with life. It was a plus as well that for the first time since we started our lil trips, I could actually sit and not be anxious about there being a toilet nearby, so to Sally the Stoma and my surgeon...

After realising it was nearly 8pm we wandered back near our hostel down Andrássy Avenue passing all the different Embassy's which was so interesting. Then something strange possessed us and we decided that we needed to go to a supermarket because we both really wanted some cheese slices, we're not right. We spent the equivalent of around £5 and bought so much food to try, most of which was awful but some was okay!
We had another Italian meal (I'm just making the most of being able to eat dairy okay!) and headed back to the hostel to get ready for another night out.

Saturday night was another mad and very late one, let's just say we had the best time and didn't get up till 4pm the next day oops.

Lucy Jane

Budapest Diaries: Buda Castle, Szimpla Kert and staying up 24 hours

Sunday, 26 May 2019

Hello everyone!
(I wish I could say I knew 'Hello' in Hungarian but sadly, I don't)
A few weeks ago I hit the 3 month post-op period and it was time for me to get back travelling! My best friend Ella and I like to plan trips around our birthdays, last year we went to Barcelona and Stockholm so this year I picked Budapest. Budapest is in Hungary which is a country I know very little about but after seeing the beer bikes on Jack Whitehall's 'Travels with my father', hearing rave reviews from friends and of course loving George Ezra's song, I decided it was where I wanted to go.

After a surprisingly short flight and not much sleep, we got to Budapest around 2pm and checked into our hostel. We stayed in 'The Hive Party Hostel' which if you're like us two and love a good night out, then I would highly recommend staying there! But if you actually want to sleep at reasonable times and get up early then I'd suggest somewhere else.
 It was pretty basic but it was cheap, we paid £90 each for 3 nights and got our own private room, bathroom and the location of the hostel was perfect.

We spent the afternoon getting our bearings and wandering over to the Buda side to see Buda Castle and Fishermans Bastion. As we hadn't done much research on Budapest, I was half expecting to have to pay when we got to these monuments but nope, you could walk just about anywhere and it cost nothing! Buda castle was pretty impressive, the grounds we walked round were so beautiful and I was 100% living out my Princess fantasy in my head. Something so small but something that made my day was the fact they had escalators and lifts so you didn't have to do the steep walk up to the castle. I'd say we walked half and got the escalator half but still, I'm on my holidays I'm allowed to be lazy!

Fishermans Bastion was so impressive, through the archways you could see the whole Pest side and it seemed to go on forever. The architecture around Buda Castle and Fishermans Bastion was so breath-taking, it reminded me of buildings described in all the gothic literature I studied at college so I was just imagining Dracula popping out to say Hi. 
One of my favourite things to do is to just wander around and thats exactly what we did, we crossed Chain bridge getting back into the Pest side and found a lovely restaurant to eat at having the classic Hungarian food of Pizza (oops).

That night we hopped around the city and it was so so fun.
We started at the ruin bar called Szimpla Kert and I've never been to anywhere like that before, it was so cool! I'd describe it as a big alleyway filled with bars, beer and a lot of buzzing people! We ended up watching some live music which was pretty good and trying to be chatted up by many 40+ year old men, this we came to accept as a common thing as it's such a huge place for Stag do's, you've just got to role with it!
After there we headed to a club called Instant which was AMAZING!!
I always go on about Razzmatazz in Barcelona being my favourite club ever but Instant was certainly up there. We didn't have to pay entry, drinks were cheap and they had 8 bars in the club all playing different kinds of music!
I've been on a fair few nights out in my time and this was definitely up there.
 It got to about 3am and we decided...
'We've been up since 5am yesterday, lets go sleep'
but we weren't staying at any normal hostel, it was 'The Hive Party Hostel' and what we didn't realise was that there was a club on the bottom floor of the hostel which stayed open till 6am every night!
So of course we went and got another drink, carried on dancing and didn't get to bed till 5:30 am.
A full 24 hours done!

Lucy Jane

Happy, healthy and having the time of my life!!

Wednesday, 22 May 2019

So I've been wanting to write a blog post for the past three months but didn't really know where to start. There's been so much going on and I'm only just about getting my head around it all. Life went from hospitals and doctors, to taking it easy in recovery, to living my absolute best life and not looking back! There's so much I want to talk about, so much that I want to do but I'm just going to start by sharing some moments over the past three months of the new and improved Lucy Jane...

1. Creating the Bag Ladies

If you don't know, the reason I've become the new and improved Lucy Jane is because in February 2019 I had my colon removed and I now live my life with an ileostomy bag. Throughout my journey with Ulcerative Colitis I was constantly sharing online and reaching out to other people in the IBD community, when the prospect of surgery became very real I knew I needed to find support online so I didn't feel so alone. It astounded me how many people similar age to me reached out and offered their advice and words of support. I always say it and I'll say it again but if it I hadn't have had people their to look up to or to chat to about what was going on, I know I wouldn't have handled having surgery in the same way.

A few weeks after surgery, my friend Alisha (who also has a bag) and I came up with the idea of creating an instagram account which was like a girl gang but for ladies with stomas. We came up with the name The Bag Ladies and the account was made straight away! 
The support we are receiving is incredible and I hope that big things are to come for these girls and I, I treasure them all so dearly and honestly think they're some of the most inspirational people in my life!

2. I did some photoshoots... IN MY UNDERWEAR

I'd never class myself as a model but here I am having done a few photoshoots and absolutely loving it!

Pre-bagged life I was pretty insecure about my body, I was always wanting to loose weight, get more toned and if I posted any exposing pictures online I had to look a certain way which you can tell by some of my posts last year. It's sad but social media wrecked my perception of myself and I never valued my body for how amazing it actually was. 
After my operation I sort of had an epiphany. 
My body has been cut, battered and bruised and now I've been given the chance for it to shine.
I'd look in the mirror and feel a sense of comfort and happiness by what looked back when I'd previously thought what I'd feel would be disgust and shame. 
My bagged bod was a healthy bod and no summer body goals could ever compare to what that felt like!

When I was asked if I'd be involved in an underwear shoot 6 weeks after my operation I was terrified but thought to myself...
'Lucy, if you can do this 6 weeks later, own your bag and wear it with confidence, who knows what you'll have achieved in 6 months time! This bag doesn't define you but it makes you unique and if the world can't appreciate that then cyaaaaa!'
So I did it, bared my bag and it felt amazing. 
I'll always think of that day as a big milestone in my recovery and the girls who were involved made me feel so at ease, it was a day of celebrating all our bodies and girls supporting girls!


I turned 20 and had the festival party I'd been dreaming of for the past two years, LSB FEST CAME TRUE!
All my friends came and to be surrounded by the people who I care about so much for the first time since surgery felt incredible, a lot of these people were the reason I kept a smile on my face the past two years and I thought I may as well throw a sick party to thank them!
My birthday was the first birthday in a long time that I loved and will remember forever.
Fuck Coachella, it's all about LSB FEST!!

4. Sally took her first trip abroad!

I went on my travels to Budapest and I'm off again to Cyprus tomorrow eeee!

Travelling for the first time after surgery made me a little bit nervous I won't lie, but as soon as I jumped on that plane I knew everything would be fine. I think the saying fail to prepare, prepare to fail is so true when travelling with a bag as if you plan for every possible outcome then nothing will come as a surprise!

Budapest was probably up there with one of my favourite places I've ever visited, it was so much fun and I think I'll do a few posts on what I got up to as I snapped so many pics I want to share them.

So that's a quick update on me, I'm 3 months post-op and pretty much living my best life. I'm making the most of waking up everyday happy and healthy and I don't think there's anything wrong in that.
After what I've been through, I deserve some fun!
I'm considering starting a youtube channel as I want to write more posts about my hospital experience/what I've been through but I feel it'd be so much easier to put across on camera, plus everyone seems to want to see more Charity Shop DIY's over on insta so may be I'll get into doing those!
Who knows where life will take me but I'm happy, healthy and having the time of my life!!

Lucy Jane

Finding my comfort with my Stoma Style

Saturday, 30 March 2019

Top: Topshop // Skirt: Charity Shop // Coat: Charity Shop // Boots: Nasty Gal // Bag: Topshop // Belt: Primark // Bag: Topshop // Earrings: Asos

The art of fashion and having my own style is something I treasure so dearly. It's my way of expressing myself and freely experimenting with anything and everything without being scared of judgements! When it became apparent to me that the prospect of my fashion freedom may become slightly more limited due to my ileostomy bag, I thought to myself 'Absolutely not!'. Some people completely change their wardrobes, find things more adaptable to your new body but I didn't really want to change my look!
So this is how I'm finding my comfort with stoma style...

Getting out of hospital was a huge relief to me, it sounds so silly but I was so excited to see my wardrobe! I'd spent 16 days rotating between my primark sloth nighties, old band t-shirts and we can't forget the beautiful stockings that 100% finished off the look. When you're ill, appearance is the last thing on your mind and I knew I was starting to get better when I wanted to make an effort and actually get dressed!

My go-to comfort pieces were high waisted joggers, wide leg trousers and midi skirts. Anything with an elasticated waist which wasn't tight became my best friend as my abdomen was still very sore from my wound and basically from being sliced in half! As my stoma lies about the same level as my belly button, I opted for all my high waisted clothes as you don't want to be putting pressure on your stoma or on your bag or else it could be a bit of a mess! Luckily for me I generally go for high waisted things as they've always suited me much better so there was no pieces in my wardrobe which I looked at and thought 
'Great, I can't wear this anymore!'
Even if there was, I would've found a way around it...
 I avoided denim and any bulkier materials for a while, I'm not a great fan of jeans but I found that if I tried to wear them they'd pull on my wounds. Anything extremely tight on my stomach was avoided. I'm still quite cautious of tight things now, more for the fact that the pressure might pop the bag (what a messy situation) rather than the fact tight things expose the outline of my bag a lot more.
I own my bulky belly!

Midi-skirts were and still are my go to piece for when I'm wanting to look slightly more chic, yet 100% comfy. Our high street is completely riddled with a variety of midi-skirts but honestly, the nicest ones are hidden in the Charity Shops! I'd been after a black one for so long and had been tempted to purchase a Topshop one but of course, I came across one in my favourite £1 Charity Shop.
It has a slight floral pattern to it which adds a lil bit of interest, but the main thing is that it pretty much feels like I'm wearing nothing, what more could you want?! It's not tight anywhere, doesn't cling to anything and is a piece that has made me feel really confident with my look now I'm living the bagged life. 
A black midi-skirt will match with anything, a chunky knit, a cute off the shoulder blouse or a basic tee, bagged bod or not, get yourself a black midi skirt!

So I'm still finding comfort with my stoma style but I really don't think it's going to change what I wear.  With more time will bring more experience and more advice that I can share, I'd love to do some 'Stoma Styling' posts, that's got a good ring to it!

Fashion is where I'm most confident, the fact I have an added accessory now is more exciting than upsetting, of course I'm going to own it!

Lucy Jane

Thank You

Saturday, 16 March 2019

This blog post isn't about me, it's about you.
Everyone always asks me
'How are you so brave?'
'How are you so positive?'
'How are you still smiling?'
The simple answer is because I have so many reasons to do so but the one main reason that keeps me going is you.
The people who support me.

The past 6 weeks may have been the hardest 6 weeks of my life but I have never felt as loved and supported by so many people as I did then and still do now. Every message or comment I received online, every card that I got sent and every single person who has seen me, given me a big hug and said the loveliest things to me is truely the reason why I've handled everything so positively.

So this post is a to say a 
to you all.
 I wish I could come hug you all or buy you all a drink but for now this will have to do!
So thank you so much and I honestly will cherish the support forever!

Thank you to anyone who commented on any of my instagram, facebook or twitter posts, so many people are quick to be negative about social media but those little comments pushed me through some of the worst nights in hospital. 

Thank you to anyone who liked my pictures, showing support in a small way which still meant the world and raised awareness!

Thank you to anyone who messaged me! Those personal conversations were like little sparks to keep my fire going, knowing I had people behind me made me determined to not put the fire out!

Thank you to all my fellow ostomates, IBD warriors and people from the Crohn's and Colitis community who were there for me day and night to make me feel less alone throughout the journey. You all know who you are and you are all incredible people!
I'd especially like to thank Billie (@billieandersonx on instagram!). She answered all my weird and wonderful questions and was constantly an inspiration to me throughout the journey, you truly are amazing girl!!
And I'd like to thank Alisha (@alisha.vernon on instagram!). We connected in the Crohn's and Colitis forum as Alisha had her operation 3 days before me, we're the same age and needed some support. 
It feels like we've gone through this journey together even though we've never met and she's been a constant support as well as someone to compare all the weird and wonderful things that come with having a stoma. I'm so proud of you and so glad we've had each other through this journey, can't wait for the day we actually meet!

Thank you to all my incredible friends, you all know exactly who you are!
Words can not describe how much it meant to see familiar faces whilst being in hospital, all the nurses would make a joke of how popular I was but I'd say 'I'm not popular, I just have a lot of bloody amazing friends!'. 
Thank you to anyone who sent me a card, I'll keep these forever and want you to know that all these messages were very special to me, the little things spurred me on.
Just a huge thank you to all the closest people I've had in my life these past two years, thank you for sticking by me through everything and still loving me for me, with or without a colon!
I won't name names because I'll be here for an absolute age but to all my friends I bloody love you all and appreciate you more than you'll ever know, even though everyone tells me I've been amazing you're truly the amazing ones to me!
Hopefully I can say a proper thank you when my festival birthday party rolls around but for now, I hope you know how much you all mean to me!

Thank you to all my family for caring and supporting me so much all the way through, you saw my battle with the disease and helped me keep going.
Thank you to my Nana for being an inspiration to me and helping me through what she had faced 50+ years ago. I like to say we're now twinning at 19 and 82, she gave me so much confidence in having an ileostomy bag as she's lived with a stoma for so long and has always lived life to the fullest!

Thank you to all the nurses who looked after me at both hospitals and have throughout the past two years. Although some of my experience wasn't great this time, I'll always remember the nurses who went the extra mile to make me smile and keep me going. 
Thank you to the student nurses who I constantly told how amazing I thought they were, having someone there a similar age to chat to helped me so much and they all worked so so hard, to all student nurses you're amazing!

And finally thank you to TEAM LUCY!
These past two years Team Lucy has consisted of myself, my Mum, my Dad, my consultant Dr George and Jo my IBD nurse but after surgery it's only fair for my surgeon Mr Rate to join.

Thank you to my Mum and Dad for being there no matter what time of day, for sleeping on uncomfy chairs, spending days and days in hospital, going without nice coffee, doing everything for me when I was incapable of doing it myself and for simply being there.
 I have the worlds best Mum and Dad and I don't care what you say about yours, mine win.
 They go to ends of the earth for me and I am so so SO grateful!
I love you both millions!

Now these people probably won't read this but I have so much to thank them for.
Thank you to my surgeon Mr Rate, for diagnosing me with Colitis all those years ago. Little did we know it would come full circle and he'd be the person removing my diseased colon.
Thank you for doing a really good job, making my scar and stoma neat and giving me my life back!

Thank you to my IBD nurse Jo who is literally super woman and I have relied upon so much through my journey with colitis. Whenever something went wrong she always helped me make it seem right and without her I know my approach to my illness would've been a lot different. 

And finally thank you to Dr George for guiding me through my journey with Ulcerative Colitis for 2 years. Medications may have not worked for me, but with your help I'm certain I tried all possibilities and made all the right decisions. Thank you for making me feel so informed and supported every step of the way.
I'll never forget when he told me I was one of the strongest fighters he'd come across, that will stay with me forever.

So I think that's everyone I want to thank and I genuinely do mean every single word I say.
I kept fighting because I knew so many people were cheering me on and I'll forever be so grateful of that!

Lucy Jane

My Disease - A New Chance At Life

Monday, 11 March 2019

My disease is Ulcerative Colitis and it is going to be mine forever! 
I want to raise awareness and share my story because my disease is not  going anywhere, and it certainly is not going to beat me. Please don't let the title of 'My disease' scare you off because I want these posts to be knowledgable, helpful and informative. Having a chronic disease has become part of daily life to me, I want to write these posts to share my experiences and not feel isolated throughout.

Helloooo to any readers who have stuck around despite my long absence from the world of blogging, I hope life is going beautifully for you and that good things are happening. Sitting down to write this post feels a bit weird, I kind of feel like I've got a new perspective, a new outlook so I thought I'd briefly tell you about my new chance at life...

Since January 2017 I have suffered from Ulcerative Colitis, a chronic inflammatory bowel disease which for two years controlled my life. Life consisted of countless toilet trips a day (up to 20+ at my worst), no control over my bowel movements, constant bleeding in my stools, exhaustion every single day, ridiculous amount of drugs and medications, stomach cramps and bloating, cutting out so many foods, infections after infections and basically looking back my health was ultimately shit.
No matter how hard I tried to fight it, Ulcerative Colitis was my life and no medications were going to give me my life back.

On Saturday 16th February my new chance at life was given to me. 
I underwent major surgery and had a sub-total colectomy leaving me with a lil stoma I like to call Sally! Now this probably sounds completely alien to you as I know at first it all did to me so I'll try and explain in simpler terms.
I was cut open down my belly and the majority of my large intestine was removed apart from my rectum meaning I still have a tiny bit of intestine left in my bum. After removing my large intestine, they took part of my small intestine and made it poke out in a little hole known as a stoma. I would've loved to have seen the process, bit weird, I know, but I find it so fascinating how my body has changed and would've loved to see it all happening. 
To sum it up I now poo out of my stoma (the bit of small intestine poking out of my belly) into a bag and no longer can poo or fart out of my bum!
As this all happened so recently, I thought I'd just provide a brief overview as I don't really want to re-live why I ended up having the operation, the build up and my time in hospital as it's all very fresh and traumatic but eventually I want to write detailed posts about those things and provide more of an insight into my experience. Although I have a very positive outlook on my stoma, I still need time to process everything and deal with it all myself, it's a big life change!

I do look at this whole process as my new chance at life because when I re-live the past two years I realise I wasn't really living, I was simply waiting for the day my health came back and it never did. The diseased part of my body which was attacking me every single day has almost fully been removed and therefore my body can start fighting fit rather than fighting itself. I can now have goals and know that I'll be healthy enough to reach them like getting to University this year and finally living my dreams and that is all I could ever wish for! That diseased large intestine was the controller of who I was, it impacted every aspect of my life for two years and turned life into a battle.  I'm only 3 weeks post-op as I write this and I know I've got a long road of recovery ahead but right now,  I have the mindset that this surgery will be life changing and will be the best decision I'll ever make. 
Basic things are still hard to do as it's going to take time for my body to heal, sometimes I forget I've been sliced open and just want to go go go! Regardless of the aches and pains, the way I feel now is so much better than how I felt consumed by my illness and that's why I know things will only go up from here!

So I'm Lucy Jane and now I have an ileostomy, this is the start of my new journey which I hope to be the start of my new life, come along for the ride!

Lucy Jane

Me, myself and my blog

Thursday, 31 January 2019

I don't really know where to start with this post or what to call this post but I felt I needed to write it.
Blogging has always been a creative outlet for me, a way to express my inner thoughts and ideas into the outside world. It was a platform to meet people with shared interest, hobbies and browse through this huge, creative community and be constantly inspired!
My blog was 100% whole-heartedly a representation of me and I adored that,  I adored everything about blogging.

Over the past few months my admiration turned to critique and I found it really hard to create content that I genuinely loved. I never felt inspired by other creators, I never felt happy with the end product and I never felt quite sure of what message I wanted to be portraying on my blog.
To sum it up my life has been all over the place and hence my blog as been all over the place...

2019 took me by surprise and I didn't really have the time or energy to figure out in what direction I wanted this year to take me in regards to blogging, my career and life in general. My main focus is getting my health better which of course, is so important but sometimes I think I forget that life still holds more to it than my illness improving. 

So now that I'm here and I'm admitting that this whole blogging thing hasn't really felt like me recently, I want to start putting in the time and effort to build something that I'm proud of. 
I want to write about the little things, share what makes me smile and what keeps me going and not worry whether it's 'good enough'.
I want to share my favourite things and really feel like I've found favourites again rather than just ambling through life with very little passion.
I want to shoot different people, show different styles and share my love for photography and all things creative.
I want to use my voice to talk about sustainable fashion, try and influence people to think differently and make small changes.
I want to talk more often about my Ulcerative Colitis and share more of my journey as it's so fucking hard!! I'd grown scared of sharing things recently but it's time to just do it.
I simply want my blog to not feel 'perfect' or 'put together', I want it to be a mish mash of random life happenings that I fancy sharing with you lovely people and that is all!!

 The truth is my blog feels like a true representation of me, when I'm loving me, I'm loving my blog and when I'm struggling, I'm struggling with my blog. I hope I can get this journey back on track and fall back in love with me, myself and my blog...

Lucy Jane


Wednesday, 16 January 2019

Hello everyone, I hope your 2019 is treating you well so far and that you're all living your fullest and best lives! I'm certainly trying to and in doing so decided that Infinity of Fashion needs a little shake up of ideas. The new year always brings new opportunities, you'll push boundaries you never thought you could and experience new amazing things. 
With that in mind I thought to myself...
'Why don't you challenge yourself Lucy? Push the fashion boundaries and try new things!!'
So that's exactly what I'm doing!

As you may know Charity Shop Bop is a series on my blog that promotes a different way of looking at fashion, it shows the endless ways second hand clothing hand can be worn along with promoting a more sustainable, cheaper and conscious way of shopping. I've decided at the start of every month I'm going to venture into a...
My aim is with a limit of £5, each month I want to find a second hand piece of clothing that is unlike anything else I own and style it up as a #CharityShopBop with a fully second hand outfit. I want to push myself to experiment with different looks and predict what styles and trends are going to hit the high street soon! 
I'm sure you understand the concept as it's pretty simple, basically Lucy gets to go styling crazy and live all her weird and wonderful fashion dreams...ENJOY!

For my CHARITY SHOP CHALLENGE NO 1 the lucky contestant was a beautiful Granddad style blue and white knitted vest which is the most adorable piece ever. I picked this up last week when I was rummaging through the Kilo sale next to Blue Rinse Vintage in Manchester. If you aren't aware of Kilo Sales, basically 1 kilo of clothes = £15 and I ended up with around 5 items so all together it cost me around £3. Now it isn't really an item I'd usually reach for...
1. I never wear vests 
2. It gives off that war time vintage feel which is a look I've never quite mastered
but I gave it a go and styled it up!

All white outfits have been a go to for me recently, I think it's me subconsciously rebelling against the overload of black that's been in stores over Christmas time.  My lace top is another Kilo sale purchase whereas my jeans are Lee jeans I found in a Charity Shop for £2, they fit like a glove and have a quite androgynous silhouette which I really like . Wearing all one colour creates a blank canvas meaning you have limitless ways of bringing layers together and styling up a masterpiece!
I then started layering, adding my vest along with this incredible suede navy blue jacket. I bought this jacket for only £7 which is unbelievable to me as it's such a well made, heavy duty piece but I'm not complaining! The shoes and accessories are sadly not Charity Shop finds but I'm pretty sure you'd be able to pick up a dainty gold necklace and a black chunky belt easily if you were wanting second hand.

My verdict of my first CHARITY SHOP CHALLENGE is pretty good I must say!
The final outfit is something I'd wear and is definitely representative of my individual style, it's vintage, delicate but also has that grunge, hardcore feel to it. 
I'm saying it now and you can come and thank me later when I'm right, but I 100% think vests are going to blow up in 2019. This particular vest is giving me more of a Chanel/Gucci vintage vibe as the cute Granddad patterned knit is definitely a staple in their collections however, utility vests have been seen in Off-White and Louis Vuitton collections. The utility vest is a more futuristic approach which I think will whittle it's way down to the high streets very soon and be a massive trend!
Watch this space!

Lucy Jane

90s NEW YEAR!!!!!!

Wednesday, 2 January 2019

I contemplated writing some deep post about 2018, touching on all my struggles and all my achievements but after procrastinating for waaaaay too long I decided not to.
 2018 was a beautiful whirlwind, I think that's the perfect way to describe it. There were good and there were bad but I don't want to dwell on those moments. Yes I agree, it's nice to reflect but I've given up living in the past or living by the hope of the future and 2019 is all about living in the now.
Instead I wanted to post about my 90s New Years and have a chat about why 2019 is so exciting to me!!!

My New Years Eve was the best New Years Eve I've ever had and I hope it's set the theme for the rest of 2019. There was good food, good friends, good music and I had an absolute ball as well as getting slightly too drunk. Everyone made an effort to dress up which looked so fab, there's nothing more that pleases me than when a fancy dress party goes to plan. I felt very grateful to be entering 2019 with all those people by my side and with the biggest smile on my face!
I said 'Thank U, next...' to 2018 and welcomed 2019 with anticipation...

Now there are a few reasons why I feel like 2019 is going to be a milestone year for me...
1. I'm hoping this is the year I can reach remission with my Ulcerative Colitis
2. I turn 20 which means so long teenage years!
 3. I should get to University in September and this is the most exciting thing EVER

If you're unaware of my life, I was supposed to get to the University for the Creative Arts down in London to study Fashion Management and Marketing in September 2017. Unfortunately, I was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis and ever since then I've had to defer my place as I wasn't healthy enough to move out and go to Uni. If 2019 is the year my medication works then 2019 will be the year I finally get to University and that fills me with so much joy. 

I've always been someone who wanted to go to Uni, I wanted to go to London and I wanted to study fashion. The fact my dreams have been put on hold has been so frustrating, constantly feeling as if you're waiting to get your life back isn't a healthy way to live. Over the past 18 months I've learnt to live with it, accepting whatever life throws at me and growing from my experiences. 
University is freedom, it's independence and it's me FINALLY studying my favourite thing in the world surrounded by other people who adore fashion as much as me. 
It is where I need to get to.

So to Lucy Jane reading this in 2020, I hope whatever you've done this year you've made yourself proud and that you haven't given up on your hopes and dreams. 
If you live everyday with love, gratitude, strength and an endless smile on your face then 2019 won't work out too bad...

Lucy Jane

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

Latest Instagrams

© Infinity Of Fashion. Design by FCD.